Artificial intelligence, used in many fields today, is now also seen as a tool in seeking emotional support. The top 10 questions people ask AI about emotional relationships are listed below, in order of frequency:
1. “Does he really love me?”
2. “Should I stay with him or break up?”
3. “Could he be cheating?” / “Is he faithful?”
4. “Why doesn’t he call/write to me?”
5. “Will our relationship lead to marriage in the long run?”
6. “Why did he move away?”
7. “How can I get him back?”
8. “Is he the right person?”
9. “How can I be happy in my relationship?”
10. “Does he like me?”
Artificial intelligence is replacing the immediate environment
Relationships are one of the most important emotional contexts of human life. As these questions suggest, uncertainty, anxiety, and trust issues are common psychological burdens in relationships. While these questions were traditionally shared with close friends, today many individuals are directing these questions to artificial intelligence systems. The emotional and relationship-focused questions posed to AI, as exemplified above and increasingly frequently, reveal not only a quest for information but also a need for emotional regulation.
The need to reduce uncertainty is paramount
People posing emotional questions about relationships to AI actually points to several fundamental psychological needs. Chief among these is the need to reduce uncertainty. Uncertainty, one of the most challenging aspects of relationships, generates difficult emotions such as anxiety, sadness, anger, helplessness, and inadequacy. Seeking answers to questions like, "Does he love me? Will he walk away? Is he cheating?" is a sign of an effort to clarify uncertainty. While AI cannot provide definitive answers, it can offer an organized and logical framework or various behavioral strategies that can help individuals organize their thoughts and behaviors and cope with difficult emotions.
The need to clarify and regulate emotions is also important
Another fundamental need underlying questions posed to AI is the need to clarify and organize emotions. While people often know the answer deep down, they may need an external voice to confirm. Uncertainty, intense anxiety, and conflicting emotions experienced in relationships can create confusion in an individual about what they are feeling. Asking AI questions can serve as a way to reflect and organize their own emotions. AI can help individuals verbalize their feelings and recognize their own thought patterns through reflective responses. This allows them to express their feelings in a structured language, contributing to the development of a sense of self-awareness.
Artificial intelligence creates a sense of safe space
Another need that drives people to seek answers from AI regarding emotional relationships is the need to be heard objectively and without judgment. People may fear judgment, criticism, or gossip when it comes to sharing a problem or situation with those close to them. Especially on topics where feelings of shame or vulnerability are intense, AI's uncritical, unbiased responses can create a sense of "safe space."
The need for validation and understanding is met
The need for validation and understanding is another crucial point. While individuals often express a problem or situation out of a need to share rather than a need for solutions or suggestions, they often hear suggestions for solutions. The empathetic responses provided by AI algorithms can help individuals meet these two most fundamental needs, reducing feelings of loneliness.
Fast and easily accessible support…
Finally, the search for fast and easily accessible support is another need that drives individuals to seek AI. Many people want to immediately share their anxiety in relationships but can't open up to everyone. While opening up to a friend requires a high emotional investment, seeing a psychologist requires both emotional and financial investment. In this regard, AI is seen as a more accessible, low-risk, and low-cost option. Considering all these points, it can be argued that the relationship questions asked of AI are actually a reflection of people's needs for trust, understanding, being heard without judgment, relief from uncertainty, and support.
Artificial intelligence's suggestions should be evaluated correctly
The suggestions offered by AI must be evaluated accurately. While there is no inherent harm in seeking ideas from AI, an individual's ability to assess the relevance of AI suggestions to their own existence is critical.
Consult an expert and get support.
Knowing oneself, one's spouse, or one's partner is crucial for resolving problems in relationships. While artificial intelligence suggestions can be considered short-term support or first aid, support from psychologists or psychiatrists specializing in couples therapy is essential for developing lasting, long-term solutions to existing problems.
Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences, Department of Psychology
Assistant Professor Suna ÖMERBAŞOĞLU
